401 The days at home passed in much company, as everybody wanted to se me and talk with me. Often I could count as many as twenty-five people there. They listened with great interest to my accounts of the lives of the saints. It seemed to me that our house was truly the house of God, as each evening we talked about nothing but God. When, tired from these talks and yearning for solitude and silence, I quietly slipped out into the garden in the evening so I could converse with God alone, even in this I was unsuccessful; immediately my brothers and sisters came and took me into the house and, once again, I had to talk, with all those eyes fixed on me. (168) But I struck on one way of getting some respite; I asked my brothers to sing for me, inasmuch as they had lovely voices; and besides, one played the violin and another, the mandolin. And during this time I was able to devote myself to interior prayer without shunning their company. What also cost me a lot was that I had to kiss the children. The women I knew came with their children and asked me to take them in my arms, at least for a moment, and kiss them. They regarded this as a great favor, and for me it was a chance to practice virtue, since many of the children were quite dirty. But in order 124 to overcome my feelings and show no repugnance, I would kiss such a dirty child twice. Once of these friends came with a child whose eyes were diseased and filled with pus, and she said to me, “Sister, take it in your arms for a moment, please.” My nature recoiled, but not paying attention to anything, I took the child and kissed it twice, right on the infection, asking God to heal it. I had many opportunities to practice virtue. I listened to people pour out their grievances, and I saw that no heart was joyful, because no heart truly loved God; and this did not surprise me at all. I was very sorry not to have seen two of my sisters. I felt interiorly that their souls were in great danger. Pain gripped my heart at the thought of them. Once, when I felt very close to God, I fervently asked the Lord to grant them grace, and the Lord answered me, I am granting them not only necessary graces, but special graces as well. I understood that the Lord would call them to a greater union with Him. I rejoice immensely that such great love reigns in our family. 402 As I was taking leave of my parents and asking for their blessing, I felt the power of the grace of God being poured out upon my soul. My father, my mother and my godmother blessed me with tears in their eyes, wishes me the greatest faithfulness to God‟s graces, and begged me never to forget how many graces God had granted me in calling me to the religious life. They asked me to pray for them.
(169) Although everyone was crying, I did not shed a single tear; I tried to be brave
and comforted them as best I could, reminding them of heaven where there would
be no more parting. Stanley walked me to the car. I told him how much God loves
pure souls and assured him God was satisfied with him. When I was telling him
about the goodness of god and of how He thinks of us, he burst out crying like a
little child, and I was not surprised, for this was a pure soul and, as such, more
capable of recognizing God.
403 Once I was in the car, I let my heart have its way, and I, too, cried like a baby, for
joy that God was granting our family so many graces, and I became steeped in a
prayer of thanksgiving.
By evening I was already in Warsaw. Firstly, I greeted the Lord of the house
[Jesus in the Eucharist], and then I went to greet the whole community.
404 When I entered the chapel to say goodnight to the Lord before retiring, and
apologized for having talked so little to Him when I was at home, I heard a voice
within my soul, I am very pleased that you had not been talking with Me, but
were making My goodness known to souls and rousing them to love Me.
405 Mother Superior [Mary Joseph] said to me, “We are both going to Jozefinek
tomorrow, Sister, and you will have chance to talk with Mother General [Michael].”
I was delighted. Mother General was ever the same, full of goodness, peace and
the Spirit of God. I had a long talk with her. We attended the afternoon service.
The Litany of the Sacred Heart of Jesus was sung. The Lord Jesus was exposed
in the monstrance.
406 After a short while, I saw the little Jesus, who came out from the Host and rested in
my hands. This lasted for a moment; immense joy flooded my soul. The Child
Jesus had the same appearance as He had the time we entered the Chapel with
Mother Superior – my former Directress, Mary Joseph. The next day I was already
back in my beloved Vilnius.
407 Oh, how happy I felt to be back in our convent! I felt as though I was entering the
convent for the second time. I took unending delight in the silence and peace in
which the soul can so easily immerse itself in God, helped by everyone and
disturbed by no one.
(170) The Great Lent
408 When I become immersed in the Lord‟s Passion, I often see the Lord Jesus, during
adoration, in this manner: after the scourging, the torturers took the Lord and
stripped Him of His own garment, which had already adhered to the wounds; as
they took it off, His wounds reopened; then they threw a dirty and tattered scarlet
cloak over the fresh wounds of the Lord. The cloak, in some places, barely
reached His knees. They made Him sit on a piece of beam. And then they wove a
crown of thorns, which they put on His sacred head. They put a reed in His hand
and made fun of Him, bowing to Him as to a king. Some spat in His face, while
others took the reed and struck Him on the head with it. Others caused him pain
by slapping Him; still others covered His face and struck Him with their fists. Jesus
bore all this with meekness. Who can comprehend Him – comprehend His
suffering? Jesus‟ eyes were downcast. I sensed what was happening in the most
sweet Heart of Jesus at that time. Let every soul reflect on what Jesus was
suffering at that moment. They tried to outdo each other in insulting the Lord. I
reflected: Where does such malice in man come from? It is caused by sin. Love
and sin have met.
409 When I was attending Mass in a certain church with another sister, I felt the
greatness and majesty of God; I felt the church was permeated by God. His
majesty enveloped me and, though it terrified me, it filled me with peace and joy. I
knew that nothing could oppose His will. Oh, if only all souls knew who is living in
our churches, there would not be so many outrages and so much disrespect in
these holy places!
410 O eternal and incomprehensible Love, I beg You for one grace: enlighten my mind
with light from on high; help me to know and appreciate all things according to their
value. I feel the greatest joy in my soul when I come to know the truth.
411 (171) March 21, 1935. Often during Mass, I see the Lord in my soul; I feel His
presence which pervades my being. I sense His divine gaze; I have long talks with
Him without saying a word; I know what His divine Heart desires, and I always do
what will please Him the most. I love Him to distraction, and I feel that I am being
loved by God. At those times, when I meet with God deep within myself, I feel so
happy that I do not know how to express it. Such moments are short, for the soul
could not bear it for long, as separation from the body would be inevitable. Though
these moments are very short, their power, however, which is transmitted to the
soul, remains with it for a very long time. Without the least effort, I experience the
profound recollection which then envelops me – and it does not diminish even if I
talk with people, nor does it interfere with the performance of my duties. I feel the
constant presence of God without any effort of my soul. I know that I am united
with Him as closely as a drop of water is united with the bottomless ocean.
Last Thursday, toward the end of my prayers, I felt this grace, and it lasted for an
unusually long time, for it was throughout Mass, so that I thought I would die of joy.
At such times, my knowledge of God and his attributes becomes more acute, and
also I know my own self and my misery much better. I am amazed at the Lord‟s
great condescension to such a miserable soul as mine. After Holy Mass, I felt
completely immersed in God and am still conscious of His every glance into the
depth of my heart. About midday, I entered the chapel for a moment, and again
the power of grace struck my heart. As I continued in a state of recollection, Satan
took a flowerpot and angrily hurled it to the ground with all his might. I saw all his
rage and his jealousy.
412 There was no one in the chapel, so I got up, picked up the pieces of the flowerpot,
repotted the flower and tried to do all this before anyone came in. But I did not
manage to do so, as Mother Superior [Borgia] came in at that moment together
with the sister sacristan 93 and several other sisters. Mother Superior was
surprised that I had been touching something on the altar and (172) thus caused
the flowerpot to fall. Sister sacristan showed her displeasure, and I did my best not
to explain or excuse myself. But towards evening I felt very exhausted and could
not make my Holy Hour, so I asked Mother Superior to allow me to go to bed early.
I feel asleep as soon as I lay down, but at about eleven o‟clock Satan shook my
bed. I awoke instantly, and I started to pray peacefully to my Guardian Angel.
Then I saw the souls who were doing penance in purgatory. They appeared like
shadows, and among them I saw many demons. One of these tried to vex me;
taking the form of a cat, he kept throwing himself onto my bed and on my feet, and
he was quite heavy, as if [weighing] a ton.
I kept praying the rosary all the while, and toward dawn these beings vanished,
and I was able to get some sleep. When I entered the chapel in the morning I
heard a voice in my soul, You are united to Me; fear nothing. But know, my child, that Satan hates you; he hates every soul, but he burns with a particular hatred for you, because you have snatched so many souls from his dominion.
Holy Thursday, April 18
413 This morning I heard these words: From today until the [celebration of the] Resurrection, you will not feel My presence, but your soul will be filled with great longing. And immediately a great longing filled my soul; I felt a separation
from my beloved Jesus, and when the moment for Holy Communion came, I saw
the suffering Face of Jesus in every Host [contained] in the chalice. From that
moment, I felt a more intense yearning in my heart.
414 On Good Friday, at three o‟clock in the afternoon, when I entered the chapel, I
heard these words: I desire that the image be publicly (173) honored. Then I
saw the Lord Jesus dying on the Cross amidst great suffering, and out of the Heart
of Jesus came the same two rays as are in the image.
415 Saturday. During Vespers, I saw the Lord Jesus radiant as the sun, in a bright
garment, and He said to me, May your heart be joyful. And great joy flooded me,
and I was penetrated with God‟s presence, which for the soul, is a treasure beyond
416 When the image was displayed, 94 I saw a sudden movement of the hand of Jesus,
as He made a large sign of the cross. In the evening of the same day, when I had
gone to bed, I saw the image going over the town, and the town was covered with
what appeared to be a mesh and nets. As Jesus passed, He cut through all the
nets and finally made a large sign of the cross and disappeared. I saw myself
surrounded by a multitude of malicious figures burning with hatred for me. Various
threats came from their lips, but none of them touched me. After a moment, this
apparition vanished, but for a long time I could not get to sleep.
417 [April] 26. On Friday, when I was at Ostra Brama to attend the ceremony during
which the image was displayed, I heard a sermon given by my confessor [Father
Sopocko]. This sermon about divine Mercy was the first of the things that Jesus
had asked for so very long ago. When he began to speak about the great mercy of
the Lord, the image came alive and the rays pieced the hearts of the people
gathered there, but not all to the same degree. Some received more, some less.
Great joy filled my soul to see the grace of God.
(174) Then I heard the words, You are a witness of My mercy. You shall stand
before My throne forever as a living witness to My mercy.
418 When the sermon was over, I did not wait for the end of the service, as I was in a
hurry to get back home. When I had taken a few steps, a great multitude of
demons blocked my way. They threatened me with terrible tortures, and voices
could be heard: “She has snatched away everything we have worked for over so
many years!” When I asked them, “Where have you come from in such great
numbers?” the wicked forms answered, “Out of human hearts; stop tormenting us!”
419 Seeing their great hatred for me, I immediately asked my Guardian Angel for help,
and at once the bright and radiant figure of my Guardian Angel appeared and said
to me, “Do not fear, spouse of my Lord; without His permission these spirits will do
you no harm.” Immediately the evil spirits vanished, and the faithful Guardian
Angel accompanied me, in a visible manner, right to the very house. His look was
modest and peaceful, and a flame of fire sparkled from his forehead.
O Jesus, I would like to toil and wear myself out and suffer all my life for that one
moment in which I saw Your glory, O lord, and profit for souls.
Sunday, [April] 28, 1935.
420 Low Sunday; that is, the Feast of The Divine Mercy, the conclusion of the Jubilee
of Redemption. When we went to take part in the celebrations, my heart leapt with
joy that the two solemnities were so closely united. I asked God for mercy on the
souls of sinners. Toward the end of the service, when the priest took the Blessed
Sacrament to bless the people, I saw the Lord Jesus as He is represented in the
image. The Lord gave His blessing, and the rays extended over the whole world.
Suddenly, I saw an impenetrable brightness in the form of a crystal dwelling place,
woven together from waves of brilliance unapproachable (175) to both creatures
and spirits. Three doors led to this resplendence. At that moment, Jesus, as He is
represented in the image, entered this resplendence through the second door to
the Unity within. It is a triple United, which is incomprehensible – which is infinity. I
head a voice, This Feast emerged from the very depths of My mercy, and it is confirmed in the vast depths of My tender mercies. Every soul believing andtrusting in My mercy will obtain it. I was overjoyed at the immense goodness
and greatness of my God.
April 29, 1935
421 On the eve of the exposition of the image, I went with our Mother Superior to visit
our confessor [Father Sopocko]. When the conversation touched upon the image,
the confessor asked for one of the sisters to help make some wreaths. Mother