1401 (37) Yesterday I received a letter from Father Sopocko. I learned that God‟s work is progressing, however slowly. I am very happy about this, and I have redoubled my prayers for this entire work. I have come to learn that, for the present, so far as my participation in the work is concerned, the Lord is asking for prayer and sacrifice. Action on my part could indeed thwart God‟s plans, as Father Sopocko wrote in yesterday‟s letter. O my Jesus, grant me the grace to be an obedient instrument in Your hands. I have learned from this letter how great is the light which God grants to this priest. This confirms me in the conviction that God will carry out this work through him despite the mounting obstacles. I know well that the greater and the more beautiful the work is, the more terrible will be the storms that rage against it. 1402 God, in his unfathomable decrees, often allows it to be that those who have expended most effort in accomplishing some work do not enjoy its fruits here on earth; God reserves all their joy for eternity. But for all that, God sometimes lets them know how much their efforts please Him. (38) And such moments strengthen them for further struggles and ordeals. These are the souls that bear closest resemblance to the Savior who, in the work which He founded here on earth, tasted nothing but bitterness. 1403 O my Jesus, may You be blessed for everything! I rejoice that Your most holy will is being accomplished. That is quite enough to make me happy. 1404 Hidden Jesus, in You lies all my strength. From my most tender years, the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament has attracted me to Himself. Once, when I was seven years old, at a Vesper Service, conducted before the Lord Jesus in the monstrance, the love of God was imparted to me for the first time and filled my little heart; and the Lord gave me understanding of divine things. From that day until this, my love for the hidden God has been growing constantly to the point of closest intimacy. All the strength of my souls flows from the Blessed Sacrament. I spend all my free moments in conversation with Him. He is my Master. 1405 (39) November 30, 1937. When I was going upstairs this evening, a strange dislike for everything having to do with God suddenly came over me. At that, I heard Satan who 312 said to me, “Think no more about this work. God is not as merciful as you say He is. Do not pray for sinners, because they will be damned all the same, and by this work of mercy you expose your own self to damnation. Talk no more about this mercy of God with your confessor and especially not with Father Sopocko and Father Andrasz.” At this point, the voice took the appearance of my Guardian Angel, and at that moment I replied, “I know who you are; the father of lies [cf. Jn. 8:44].” I made the sign of the cross, and the angel vanished with great racket and fury. 1406 Today, the Lord gave me to know interiorly that He would never abandon me. He gave me to know His majesty and His holiness as well as His love and mercy towards me; and He gave me a deeper knowledge of my own wretchedness. However, this great misery of mine does not deprive me of trust. On the contrary, the better I have come to know my own misery, the stronger has become my trust (40) in God‟s mercy. I have come to understand how all this depends on the Lord. I know that no one will touch a single hair of my head without His willing it. 1407 When I was receiving Holy Communion today, I noticed in the cup a Living Host, which the priest gave to me. When I returned to my place I asked the Lord, “Why was one host alive, since you are equally alive under each of the species? The Lord answered me, That is so. I am the same under each of the species, but not every soul receives Me with the same living faith as you do, My daughter, and therefore I cannot act in their souls as I do in yours. 1408 I was present at Holy Mass celebrated by Father Sopocko. During the Mass, I saw the Infant Jesus who, touching the priest‟s forehead with His finger, said to me, His thought is closely united to Mine, so be at peace about what concerns My work. (41) I will not let him make a mistake, and you should do nothing without his permission. This filled my soul with great peace as regards everything that has to do with this work. 1409 + Today the Lord Jesus is giving me an awareness of Himself and of His most tender love and care for me. He is bringing me to understand deeply how everything depends on His will, and how He allows certain difficulties precisely for our merit, so that our fidelity might be clearly manifest. And through this, I have been given strength for suffering and self-denial. 1410 Today [December 7, 1937] is the eve of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary. During the midday meal, in an instant, God gave me to know the greatness of my destiny; that is, His closeness, which for all eternity will not be taken away from me, and He did this in such a vivid and clear fashion that I remained wrapped up in His living presence for a long time, humbling myself before His greatness. + (42) J. M. J. 1411 O Divine Spirit, Spirit of truth and of light, Dwell ever in my soul by Your divine grace. May Your breath dissipate the darkness, 313 And in this light may good deeds be multiplied. O divine Spirit, Spirit of love and of mercy, Your pour the balm of trust into my heart, Your grace confirms my soul in good, Giving it the invincible power of constancy. O Divine Spirit, Spirit of peace and of joy, You invigorate my thirsting heart And pour into it the living fountain of God‟s love, Making it intrepid for battle. O Divine Spirit, my soul‟s most welcome guest, For my part, I want to remain faithful to You; Both in days of joy and in the agony of suffering, I want always, O Spirit of God, to live in Your presence. O Divine Spirit, who pervade my whole being And give me to know Your Divine, Triune Life, And lead me into the mystery of Your Divine Being, Initiating me into Your Divine Essence, Thus united to You, I will live a life without end. 1412 (43) + It is with great zeal that I have prepared for the celebration of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Mother of god. I have made an extra effort to keep recollected in spirit and have meditated on that unique privilege of Our Lady. And thus my heart was complete drowned in Her, thanking God for having accorded this great privilege to Mary. 1413 I prepared not only by means of the novena said in common by the whole community, but I also made a personal effort to salute Her a thousand times each day, saying a thousand “Hail Marys” for nine days in Her praise. + This is now the third time I have said such a novena to the Mother of God; that is, a novena made up of a thousand Aves each day. Thus the novena consists in nine thousand salutations. Although I have done this now three times in my life, and two of these while in the course of my duties, I have never failed in carrying out my tasks with the greatest exactitude. I have always said the novena outside the time of my exercises; that is to say, I have not said the Aves during Holy Mass or Benediction. Once, I made the novena while (44) lying ill in the hospital. Where there‟s a will, there‟s a way. Apart from recreation, I have only prayed and worked. I have not said a single unnecessary word during these days. Although I must admit that such a matter requires a good deal of attention and effort, nothing is too much when it comes to honoring the Immaculate Virgin. 1414 The Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Before Holy Communion I saw the Blessed Mother inconceivably beautiful. Smiling at me She said to me, My daughter, at God’s command I am to be, in a special and exclusive way your Mother; but I desire that you, too, in a special way, be My child. 314 1415 I desire, My dearly beloved daughter, that you practice the three virtues that are dearest to Me and most pleasing to God. The first is humility, humility, and once again humility; the second virtue, purity; the third virtue, love of God. As My daughter, you must especially radiate with these virtues. When the conversation ended, She pressed me to Her Heart and disappeared. When I regained the use of my senses, (45) my heart became so wonderfully attracted to these virtues; and I practice them faithfully. They are as though engraved in my heart. 1416 This has been a great day for me. During this day I remained as though in unceasing contemplation; the very thought of this grace drew me into further contemplation; and throughout the whole day I continued in thanksgiving which I never stopped, because each recollection of this grace caused my soul, ever anew, to lose itself in God… 1417 O my Lord, my soul is the most wretched of all, and yet You stoop to it with such kindness! I see clearly Your greatness and my littleness, and therefore I rejoice that You are so powerful and without limit, and so I rejoice greatly at being so little. 1418 O suffering Christ, I am going out to meet You. As Your bride, I must resemble You. Your cloak of ignominy must cover me too. O Christ, You know how ardently I desire to become like You. Grant that Your entire Passion may be my lot. May all (46) Your sorrow be poured into my heart. I trust that You will complete this in me in the way You deem most fitting. 1419 + Today there was nocturnal adoration. I could not take part in it because of my poor health, but before I fell asleep I united myself with the sisters who were at adoration. Between four and five o'clock, I was suddenly awakened, and I heard a voice telling me to join those who were adoring at that time. I understood that there was among them a soul who was praying for me. 1420 When I steeped myself in prayer, I was transported in spirit to the chapel, where I saw the Lord Jesus, exposed in the monstrance. In place of the monstrance, I saw the glorious face of the Lord, and He said to me, What you see in reality, these souls see through faith. Oh, how pleasing to Me is their great faith! You see, although there appears to be no trace of life in Me, in reality it is present in its fullness in each and every Host. But for Me to be able to act upon a soul, the soul must have faith. O how pleasing to Me is living faith! 1421 Those taking part in adoration at that time (47) were Mother Superior and a few other sisters. But I recognized that it was Mother Superior‟s prayer which had moved heaven, and I rejoiced that there are souls so pleasing to God. 1422 When, during recreation the next day, I asked which sisters had been at adoration between four and five o'clock, one of the sisters cried out, “Why do you ask, Sister? Perhaps you had some revelation?” I fell silent and said no more; although I was asked by Mother Superior, I could not answer because it was not a suitable moment. 1423 On a certain occasion, one of the sisters [Sister Damian Ziolek220] confided to me that she wanted to choose a certain priest as her confessor. Very pleased, she shared the news with me and asked me to pray for that intention, and so I promised her to do so. During prayer, I learned that that soul would gain no spiritual profit from his direction. 315 And then the next time we met, she told me again of her great joy in being under his direction. 1424 I joined in her joy, but when she had (48) left I was severely rebuked. Jesus told me to tell her what He had given me to know during prayer, which I did at the first opportunity, although it cost me a great deal. 1425 Today, for a short while, I experienced the pain of the crown of thorns. I was praying for a certain soul before the Blessed Sacrament at the time. In an instant, I felt such a violent pain that my head dropped onto the altar rail. Although this moment was very brief, it was very painful. 1426 Christ, give me souls. Let anything You like happen to me, but give me souls in return. I want the salvation of souls. I want souls to know Your mercy. I have nothing left for myself, because I have given everything away to souls, with the result that on the day of judgment I will stand before you empty-handed, since I have given everything away to souls. Thus You will have nothing on which to judge me, and we shall meet on that day: Love and mercy….. + (49) J. M. J. 1427 Hidden Jesus, life of my soul, Object of my ardent desire, Nothing will stifle Your love in my heart. The power of our mutual love assures me of that. Hidden Jesus, glorious pledge of my resurrection, All my life is concentrated in You. It is You, O Host, who empower me to love forever, And I know that You will love me as Your child in return. Hidden Jesus, my purest love, My life with You has begun already here on earth, And it will become fully manifest in the eternity to come, Because our mutual love will never change. Hidden Jesus, sole desire of my soul, You alone are to me more than the delights of heaven. My soul searches for You only, who are above all gifts and graces, You who come to me under the form of bread. Hidden Jesus, take at last to Yourself my thirsting heart Which burns for You with the pure fire of the Seraphim. I go through life in Your footsteps, invincible, With head held high, like a knight, feeble maid though I be. 1428 (50) For a month now, I have been feeling worse. Every time I cough, I feel my lungs disintegrating. It sometimes happens that I feel the complete decay of my own corpse. It is hard to express how great a suffering this is. Although I fully agree to this with my will, it is nevertheless a great suffering for nature, greater than wearing a hairshirt or a 316 flagellation to the point of blood. I have felt it especially when I was going to the refectory. It took great effort for me to eat anything because food made me sick. I also started at this time to suffer from pains in my intestines. All highly seasoned dished caused me such immense pain that I spent many nights writhing in pain and in tears, for the sake of sinners. 1429 However, I asked my confessor what to do: whether I should continue to suffer this for the sake of sinners or ask the superiors for an exception by way of milder food. He decided that I should ask the superiors for milder food. And thus I followed his directions, seeing that this humiliation was more pleasing to God. 1430 (51 ) One day, I began to doubt as to how it was possible to feel this continual decaying of the body and at the same time to be able to walk and work. Perhaps this was some kind of an illusion. Yet it cannot be an illusion, because it causes me such terrible pains. As I was thinking about this, one of the sisters came to converse with me. After a minute or two, she made a terribly wry face and said, “Sister, I smell a corpse here, as though it were decaying. O how dreadful it is!” I said to her, “Do not be frightened, Sister, that smell of a corpse comes from me.” She was very surprised and said she could not stand it any longer. After she had gone, I understood that God had allowed her to sense this so that I would have no doubt, but that He was no less than miraculously keeping the knowledge of this suffering from the whole community. O my Jesus, only You know the full depth of this sacrifice. 1431 Nevertheless, when in the refectory I still had to bear being the object of the frequent suspicion that I was being fussy [about my food]. At such times, as always, I hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium (52) and there draw strength to accept God‟s will. That which I have written is not yet everything. 1432 Today during confession, breaking the wafer with me spiritually, he gave me the following wishes: “Bet as faithful as you can to the grace of God; secondly, beg God‟s mercy for yourself and for the whole world, because we are all in great need of God‟s mercy.” 1433 Two days before Christmas, these words were read in the refectory: “Tomorrow is the Birth of Jesus Christ according to the flesh.”221 At these words, my soul was pierced by the light and love of God, and I gained deeper knowledge of the Mystery of the Incarnation of the Son of God. How great is the mercy of God contained in the Mystery of the Incarnation of the Son of God! 1434 Today, the Lord gave me knowledge of His anger toward mankind which deserves to have its days shortened because of its sins. But I learned that the world‟s existence is maintained by chosen souls; that is, the religious orders. Woe to the world when there will be a lack of religious orders! + (53) J. M. J. 1435 I perform each deed in the face of death. I do it now as I would want to see it in my last hour. Although life, like the wind, will pass swiftly by, No deed undertaken for God will perish. 317 I feel the complete decay of my organism, Although I am still living and working. Death will be no tragedy for me, Because I have long felt it. Although it is very unpleasant for nature To constantly smell one‟s own corpse, Yet it is not so terrible when the soul is filled with God‟s light, Because in it faith, hope, love and contrition are awakened. Daily I make great efforts To take part in community life, Thereby gaining graces for souls‟ salvation, Shielding them by my sacrifice from the fire of hell. For the salvation of even a single soul Is worth the sacrifice of a lifetime And the bearing of the greatest sacrifices and torments, Seeing how great the glory it gives God. 1436 (54) + Lord, although You often make known to me the thunders of Your anger, Your anger vanishes before lowly souls. Although You are great, Lord, You allow Yourself to be overcome by a lowly and deeply humble soul. O humility, the most precious of virtues, how few souls possess you! I see only a semblance of this virtue everywhere, but not the virtue itself. Lord, reduce me to nothingness in my own eyes that I may find grace in Yours. 1437 + Christmas Eve [1937]. After Holy Communion, the Mother of God gave me to experience the anxious concern she had in Her heart because of the Son of God. But this anxiety was permeated with such fragrance of abandonment to the will of god that I should call it rather a delight than an anxiety. I understood how my soul ought to accept the will of God in all things. It is a pity I cannot write this the way I experienced it. My soul was plunged in deep recollection all day long. Nothing could tear me away from this recollection, neither duties, nor the business I had with lay people. 1438 (55) Before supper, I went into the chapel for a moment to break the wafer spiritually with those beloved persons, so dear to my heart, though far away. First, I steeped myself in a profound prayer and asked the Lord for graces for them all as a group and then for each one individually. Jesus gave me to know how much this pleased Him, and my soul was filled with even greater joy to see that God loves in a special way those whom we love. 1439 + After I had gone into the refectory, during the reading, my whole being found itself plunged in God. Interiorly, I saw God looking at us with great pleasure. I remained alone with the Heavenly Father. At that moment, I had a deeper knowledge of the Three Divine persons, whom we shall contemplate for all eternity and, after millions of years, shall discover that we have just barely begun our contemplation. Oh, how great is the mercy of God, who allows man to participate in such a high (56) degree in His 318 divine happiness! At the same time, what great pain pierces my heart [at the thought] that so many souls have spurned this happiness. 1440 When we began to share the wafer, a sincere and mutual love reigned among us. Mother Superior [Irene] expressed this wish to me: “Sister, the works of God proceed slowly, so do not be in a hurry.” In general, the sisters sincerely wished me great love, which is that which I desire above all. I saw that these wishes truly came from their hearts, except for one sister, who had a concealed malice in her wishes, although this did not cause me much pain, for my soul was pervaded by god. Yet this enlightened me as to why God communicates so little with a soul of this kind, and I learned that such a soul is always seeking itself, even in holy things. Oh, how good the Lord is in not letting me go astray! I know that He will guard me, even jealously, but only as long as I remain little, because it is with such that the great Lord likes to commune. As to proud souls, He watches them from afar and opposed them. 1441 (57) Although I wanted to keep vigil for some time before the Midnight Mass, 222 I could not do so. I fell asleep at once, and I was even feeling very weak. But when they rang the bells for Midnight Mass, I jumped to my feet at once and dressed, though with great difficulty, because I felt sick again and again. 1442 + When I arrived at Midnight Mass, from the very beginning I steeped myself in deep recollection, during which time I saw the stable of Bethlehem filled with great radiance. The Blessed Virgin, all lost in the deepest of love, was wrapping Jesus in swaddling clothes, but Saint Joseph was still asleep. Only after the Mother of God put Jesus in the manger, did the light of God awaken Joseph, who was also praying. But after a while, I was left alone with the Infant Jesus who stretched out His little hands to me, and I understood that I was to take Him in my arms. Jesus pressed His head against my heart and gave me to know, by His profound gaze, how good He found it to be next to my heart. At that moment Jesus disappeared and the bell was ringing for Holy Communion. 1443 (58) My soul was languishing with joy. But toward the end of the Mass, I felt so weak that I had to leave the chapel and go to my cell, as I felt unable to take part in the community tea. But my joy throughout the whole Christmas Season was immense, because my soul was unceasingly united with the Lord. I have come to know that every soul would like to have divine comforts, but is by no means willing to forsake human comforts, whereas these two things cannot be reconciled. 1444 During this Christmas Season, I have sensed that certain souls have been praying for me. I rejoice that such spiritual union and knowledge exist already here on earth. O my Jesus, praise be to You for all this! 1445 In the greatest torments of soul I am always alone, but no – not alone, for I am with You, Jesus; but here I am speaking about [other] people. None of them under-stands my heart, but this does not surprise me anymore, whereas I used to be surprised when my intentions (59) were condemned and wrongly interpreted; no, this does not surprise me now at all. People do not know how to perceive the soul. They see the body, and they judge according to the body. But as distant as heaven is from earth, so distant are God's thoughts from our thoughts. I myself have experienced that quite often it happens that [……] 319
1446 The Lord said to me, It should be of no concern to you how anyone else acts; you are to be My living reflection, through love and mercy. I answered, “Lord, but they often take advantage of my goodness.” That makes no difference, My daughter.
That is no concern of yours. As for you, be always merciful toward other people,
and especially toward sinners. 1447 + Oh, how painful it is to Me that souls so seldom unite themselves to Me in Holy Communion. I wait for souls, and they are indifferent toward Me. I love them tenderly and sincerely, and they distrust Me. I want to lavish My graces on them, and they do not want to accept them. They treat Me as a dead object, whereas (60) My Heart is full of love and mercy. In order that you may know at least some of My pain, imagine the most tender of mothers who has great love for her children, while those children spurn her love. Consider her pain. No one is in a position to console her. This is but a feeble image and likeness of My love. 1448 Write, speak of My mercy. Tell souls where they are to look for solace; that is, in the Tribunal of Mercy [the Sacrament of Reconciliation] There the greatest miracles take place [and] are incessantly repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not necessary to go on a great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony; it suffices to come with faith to the feet of My representative and to reveal to him one‟s misery, and the miracle of Divine Mercy will be fully demonstrated. Were a soul like a decaying corpse so that from a human standpoint, there would be no [hope of] restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. The miracle of Divine Mercy restores that soul in full. Oh, how miserable are those who do not take advantage of the miracle of God‟s mercy! You will call out in vain, but it will be too late. +
(61) J. M. J. The Year 1938 The First of January 1449 Welcome to you, New Year, in the course of which my perfection will be accomplished. 223 Thank You in advance, O Lord, for everything Your goodness will send me. Thank You for the cup of suffering from which I shall daily drink. Do not diminish its bitterness, O Lord, but strengthen my lips that, while drinking of this bitterness, they may know how to smile for love of You, my Master. I thank You for Your countless comforts and graces that flow down upon me each day like the morning dew, silently, imperceptibly, which no curious eye may notice, and which are known only to You and me, O Lord. For all this, I thank You as of today because, at the moment when You hand me the cup, my heart may not be capable of giving thanks. 1450 So today I submit myself completely and with loving consent to Your holy will, O Lord, and to Your most wise decrees, which are always full of clemency and mercy for me, though at times I can (62) neither understand nor fathom them. O my Master, I surrender myself completely to You, who are the rudder of my soul; steer it Yourself