1151 (41 ) + When pain overwhelms my soul, And the horizon darkens like night, And the heart is torn with the torment of suffering, Jesus Crucified, You are my strength. When the soul, dimmed with pain, Exerts itself in battle without respite, And the heart is in agony and torment, Jesus Crucified, You are the hope of my salvation. And so the days pass, As the soul bathes in a sea of bitterness, And the heart dissolves in tears, Jesus Crucified, you shine for me like the dawn. And when the cup of bitterness brims over, And all things conspire against her, And the soul goes down to the Garden of Olives, Jesus Crucified, in You is my defense. When the soul, conscious of its innocence, Accepts these dispensations from God, The heart can then repay hurts with love. Jesus Crucified, transform my weakness into omnipotence. 265 1152 It is no easy thing to bear sufferings joyfully, especially those which are unmerited. Fallen nature rebels, and although the intellect and will are above suffering, because they are able to do good to those who inflict suffering on them, nevertheless the emotions raise a lot of noise and, like restless spirits, attack the intellect and will. But when they see they cannot do anything by themselves, they quiet down and submit to the intellect and will. Like some kind of hideousness, (42) they rush in and stir up a row, bent on making one obey them alone so long as they are not curbed by the intellect and will.
1153 June 23, [1937]. As I was praying before the Most Blessed Sacrament, my physical sufferings ceased suddenly, and I heard this voice in my soul: You see, I can give you everything in one moment. I am not constrained by any law. June 24. After Holy Communion, I heard these words: Know, My daughter, that in one moment I can give you everything that is needed for the fulfillment of this task. After these words, an extraordinary light remained in my soul, and all God‟s demands seemed to me to be so simple that even a little child could carry them out. 1154 [June] 27. Today, I saw the convent of the new Congregation. It was a large ad spacious building. I went from room to room, observing everything, I saw that God‟s Providence had provided for all that was necessary. The persons living in this convent were still wearing lay clothes, but a thoroughly religious spirit reigned there, and I was organizing everything just as the Lord wanted. All of a sudden, I heard a rebuke from one of our sisters, “Sister, how can you carry out such works?” I answered that it was not I, but the Lord working through me, and that I had the authorization for everything. During Mass, I received light and profound understanding concerning this whole work, and not a shadow of a doubt remained in my soul. 1155 (43) The Lord gave me knowledge of His will under three aspects, so to speak, but it all comes down to one. 198 The first is that souls separated from the world will burn as an offering before God‟s throne and beg for mercy for the whole world…. And by their entreaties they will obtain blessings for priests, and through their prayers prepare the world for the final coming of Jesus. 1156 The second is prayer joined to the act of mercy. In particular, they will defend the souls of children against the spirit of evil. Prayer and merciful deeds are all that will be required of these souls, and even the poorest persons can be admitted to their number. And in this egoistic world they will try to rouse up love, the mercy of Jesus. 1157 The third is prayer and deeds of mercy, without any obligation of taking vows. But by doing this, these persons will have a share in all the merits and privileges of the whole [congregation]. Everyone in the world can belong to this group. 1158 A member of this group ought to perform at least one act of mercy a day; at least one, but there can be many more, for such deeds can easily be carried out by anyone, even the very poorest. For there are three ways of performing an act of mercy: the merciful word, by forgiving and by comforting; secondly, if you can offer no word, then pray – that too is 266 mercy; and thirdly, deeds of mercy. And when the Last Day comes, we shall be judged from this, and on this basis we shall receive the eternal verdict. 1159 God‟s floodgates have been opened for us. Let us want to take advantage of them before the day of God‟s justice arrives. And that will be a dreadful day! 1160 (44) When once I asked the Lord Jesus how He could tolerate so many sins and crimes and not punish them, the Lord answered me, I have eternity for punishing [these], and so I am prolonging the time of mercy for the sake of [sinners]. But woe to them if they do not recognize this time of My visitation. My daughter, secretary of My mercy, your duty is not only to write about and proclaim My mercy, but also to beg for this grace for them, so that they too may glorify My mercy. 1161 Today, my soul suffered such agony that I began to complain to the Lord Jesus, “Jesus, how can You leave me alone? I cannot take even one step forward by myself. You have taken my confessor away, and You Yourself are hiding from me. Surely, You know, Jesus, that of myself I know nothing but how to waste Your graces. Jesus, You must arrange things so that Father Andrasz will return.” But the anguish persisted. 1162 It occurred to me to go to some priest and tell him of my anguish as well as some various inspirations, that he might resolve them for me; and I shared this idea with Mother Superior [Irene]. Mother replied, “I understand, Sister, that you are going through a difficult time, but at present, I really do not know of any priest who would be suitable for you. At any rate, Father Andrasz will be returning soon. So, for now, go and tell everything to the lord Jesus.”
1163 When I went to talk with the Lord for a while, I heard a voice in my soul: My I will not give you the grace to reveal yourself to someone else, and even if you did bare yourself, I will not give that priest the grace needed to understand you. At this time, it is My desire that you put up with yourself patiently. (45) My daughter, it is not My will that you should tell everybody about the gifts I have granted you. I
have entrusted you to the care of the friend of My Heart, and under his direction
your soul will bloom. I have given him light to recognize My life in your soul. 1164 My daughter, when I was before Herod, I obtained a grace for you; namely, that you would be able to rise above human scorn and follow faithfully in My footsteps. Be silent when they do not want to acknowledge your truth, because it is then that you speak more eloquently. 1165 Know this, My daughter: if you strive for perfection you will sanctify many souls; and if you do not strive for sanctity, by the same token, many souls will remain imperfect. Know that their perfection will depend on your perfection, and the greater part of the responsibility for these souls will fall on you. 1166 Then He said to me, Do not fear, My child; but remain faithful only to My grace….. 1167 Satan has admitted to me that I am the object of his hatred. He said that “a thousand souls do me less harm than you do when you speak of the great mercy of the Almighty One. The greatest sinners regain confidence and return to God, and I lose everything. But what is more, you persecute me personally with that unfathomable mercy of the 267 Almighty One.” I took note of the great hatred Satan has for the Mercy of God. He does not want to acknowledge that God is good. 1168 (46) June 29, 1937. During breakfast today, Father Andrasz greeted the whole community by telephone. He is already back [from Rome], and this very afternoon he came to see us. The professed sisters, the novices, and both groups of students assembled in the quadrangle [the girls‟ playground in front of the building] and waited for our dear Father. The children welcomed him with songs and poems, and then we asked him to tell us about Rome and the many beautiful things he had seen there. Ho spoke for over two hours and, because of this, there was no time left to talk in private.
1169 Today, my soul entered into close union with the Lord. He made known to me how I should always abandon myself to His holy will: In one moment, I can give you more
than you are able to desire.
1170 June 30, 1937. Today, the Lord said to me, I have wanted to exalt this Congregation many times, but I am unable to do so because of its pride. Know, My daughter, that I do not grant My graces to proud souls, and I even take away from them the graces I have granted. 1171 Today Sister Jolanta 199 asked me to make an agreement with her; she will pray for me, and I am to pray for the girls in her class in Vilnius. As for me, I always pray for our work, but I have resolved to pray for the class in Vilnius for two months, and Sister Jolanta will say three Hail Marys to the Incarnate Word every day for the intention that I might profit from God‟s grace. Our friendship has deepened. 1172 (47) July 1, 1937. The month of July. Today during the Angelus, the Lord gave me an understanding of God‟s incomprehensible love for people. He lifts us up to His very Godhead. His only motives are love and fathomless mercy. Though You make known the mystery to us through an angel, You Yourself carry it out. 1173 In spite of the profound peace my soul is enjoying, I am struggling continuously, and it is often a hard-fought battle for me to walk faithfully along my path; that is, the path which the Lord Jesus wants me to follow. And my path is to be faithful to the will of God in all things and at all times, especially by being faithful to inner inspirations in order to be a receptive instrument in God‟s hands for the carrying out of the work of His fathomless mercy. 1174 (48) July 4, 1937. First Sunday of the month. Monthly retreat. This evening, I prepared with great care and prayed long to the Holy Spirit that that He might deign to grant me His light and take me under His special guidance; [I prayed] also to Our Lady, to my Guardian Angel, and to our patron saints. 200 1175 Fruit of the meditation. 268 Whatever Jesus did, He did well. He went along, doing good. His manner was full of goodness and mercy. His steps were guided by compassion. Toward His enemies He showed goodness, kindness, and understanding, and to those in need help and consolation. I have resolved to mirror faithfully these traits of Jesus in myself during this month, even if this costs me much. 1176 During Adoration, I heard a voice in my soul: These efforts of yours, My daughter, are pleasing to Me; they are the delight of My Heart. I see every movement of your heart with which you worship Me. 1177 Particular examen. Continuation of the same: to unite myself with the merciful Christ. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, I will entreat the heavenly Father for the whole world. A point of the rule: strict observance of silence. I must probe the depth of my being and thank God for everything, uniting myself with Jesus. With Him, in Him, and through Him, I give glory to God. 1178 (49) O Lord, my Love, I thank You for this day on which You have allowed me to draw a wealth of graces from the fountain of Your unfathomable mercy. O Jesus, not only today, but at every moment, I draw from Your unfathomable mercy everything that the soul and body could want. 1179 July 7, 1937. In times o doubt; that is, when the soul is weak, let it ask Jesus Himself to act. Although it knows that it should act by the grace of God, nevertheless, at certain times, it is better for it to leave all action to God.
1180 June [July] 15, 1937. Once, I learned that I was to be transferred to another house. My knowledge of this was purely interior. At the same time, I heard a voice in my soul: Do not be afraid, My daughter; it is My will that you should remain here. Human plans will be thwarted, since they must conform to My will. 1181 When I was close to the Lord, He said to me, Why are you afraid to begin the work which I have commanded you to carry out? “Why do You leave me on my own at such times, Jesus, and why do I not feel Your presence?” My daughter, even though you do not perceive Me in the most secret depths of your heart, you still cannot say that I am not there. I only remove from you the awareness of My presence, and that should not be an obstacle to the carrying out of My will. I do this to achieve My unfathomable ends, which you will know of later on. My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else. 1182 (50) + Today the Lord said to me, My daughter, My pleasure and delight, nothing will stop me from granting you graces. Your misery does not hinder my mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the misery of a soul, the greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all souls to trust in the unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I 269 want to save them all. On the cross, the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all souls no one have I excluded! 1183 O Jesus, I want to live in the present moment, to live as if this were the last day of my life. I want to use every moment scrupulously for the greater glory of God, to use every circumstance for the benefit of my soul. I want to look upon everything, from the point of view that nothing happens without the will of God. God of unfathomable mercy, embrace the whole world and pour Yourself out upon us through the merciful Heart of Jesus. 1184 On an earlier occasion. In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet, and side the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, “Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls.” And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, (51) and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before. 1185 July 9, 1937. This evening, one of the deceased sisters came and asked me for one day of fasting and to offer all my [spiritual] exercises on that day for her. I answered that I would. 1186 From early morning on the following day, I offered everything for her intention. During Holy Mass, I had a brief experience of her torment. I experienced such intense hunger for God that I seemed to be dying of the desire to become united with Him. This lasted only a short time, but I understood what the longing of the souls in purgatory was like. 1187 Immediately after Holy Mass, I asked Mother Superior‟s permission to fast, but I did not receive it because of my illness. When I entered the chapel, I heard these words: “If you had fasted, Sister, I would not have gotten relief until the evening, but for the sake of your obedience, which prevented you from fasting, I obtained this relief at once. Obedience has great power.” After these words I heard: “May God reward you.” 1188 I often pray for Poland, but I see that God is very angry with it because of its ingratitude. 201 I exert all the strength of my soul to defend it. I constantly remind God of the promises of His mercy. When I see His anger, I throw myself trustingly into the abyss of His mercy, and I plunge all Poland in it, and then He cannot use His justice. My country, how much you cost me! There is no day in which I do not pray for you. 1189 (52) (A sentence from Saint Vincent de Paul: “The Lord always sets His hand to a task when He removes all human means and orders us to do a thing that exceeds our strength.”) 270 1190 + Jesus. – From all My wounds, like from streams, mercy flows for souls, but the wound in My Heart is the fountain of unfathomable mercy. From this fountain spring all graces for souls. The flames of compassion burn Me. I desire greatly to pour them out upon souls. Speak to the whole world about My mercy. 1191 As long as we live, the love of God grows in us. Until we die, we ought to strive for the love of God. I have learned and experienced that souls living in love are distinguished in this: that they are greatly enlightened concerning the things of God, both in their own souls and in the souls of others. And simple souls, without an education, are outstanding for their knowledge. 1192 At the fourteenth station. I get the strange feeling that Jesus is going into the ground. When my soul is in anguish, I think only in this way: Jesus is good and full of mercy, and even if the ground were to give way under my feet, I would not cease to trust in Him. 1193 Today, I have heard these words: My daughter, delight of My heart, it is with pleasure that I look into your soul. I bestow many graces only because of you. I also withhold My punishments only because of you. You restrain Me, and I cannot vindicate the claims of My justice. You bind My hands with your love. 1194 (53) July 13, 1937. Today, Jesus has given me light as to how I should behave toward one of the sisters, who had asked me about many spiritual matters concerning which she had doubts. But basically this was not the question; she only wanted to find out my opinion in these matters in order to have something to say about me to the other sisters. Oh, if at least she had repeated the same words that I had spoken to her without distortions and additions! Jesus put me on my guard in respect to her. I resolved to pray for her, because only prayer can enlighten that soul. 1195 O my Jesus, nothing can lower my ideals, that is, the love which I have for You. Although the path is very thorny, I do not fear to go ahead. Even if a hailstorm of persecutions covers me; even if my friends forsake me, even if all things conspire against me, and the horizon grows dark; even if a raging storm breaks out, and I feel I am quite alone and must brave it all; still, fully at peace, I will trust in Your mercy. O my God, and my hope will not be disappointed. 1196 Today, when a certain sister who was on duty approached me in the refectory [the sisters‟ dining room, where assigned sisters serve at the time of common meals], I experienced severe suffering in the places of the Wounds. I was given to know the state of her soul. I prayed much for her. 1197 Sudden calming of a storm. There was a terrible storm last night. I bowed my face low to the ground and started to say the Litany of the Saints. Towards the end of the Litany, such drowsiness came over me that I could in no way finish the prayer. Then I got up and said to the Lord, “Jesus, (54) calm the storm, for Your child is unable to pray any longer, and I am heavy with sleep.” After these words, I threw the window wide open, not even securing it with hooks. Sister N. [probably sister Fabiola Pawluk] then said to me, “Sister, what are you doing! The wind will surely tear the window loose!” I told her to sleep in peace, and at once the storm completely subsided. The next day, the sisters talked about 271 the sudden calming of the storm, not knowing what this meant. I said nothing, but I merely thought within myself: Jesus and little Faustina know what it means…… 1198 The 20th [of July, 1937]. I learned today that I am to go to Rabka. 202 I was not to leave until August 5, but I asked Mother Superior [Irene] to let me go at once. I have not seen Father Andrasz at all, and I asked her to let me leave as soon as possible. Mother Superior was a little surprised that I wanted to leave so soon, but I did not explain the reason for my wanting to do so. That will remain a secret forever. In these circumstances, I have made one resolution which I am going to keep. 1199 [July] 29. I am to leave for Rabka today. I went into the chapel and asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey. But within my soul there was silence and darkness. I felt I was all alone and had no one [to turn to]. I asked Jesus to be with me. Than I felt a tiny ray of light in my soul as a sign that Jesus was with me but, after this grace, the darkness and shadows in my soul increased. Then I said “Your will be done, for everything is possible to You.” When I was on the train and gazed through the window at the beautiful countryside and the mountains, the torments of my soul grew even greater. As the sisters welcomed me and began to surround me with their warmth, my sufferings redoubled. 1200 I would have liked to hide and rest for a while in solitude, in a word, (55) to be alone. At such moments, no creature is capable of giving me comfort, and even if I had wanted to say something about myself, I would have experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent at such moments and submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God – and that has given me relief. I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with them only in so far as is necessary. I will not take them into my confidence unless this is for the greater glory of god. My communing is with the angels [cf. Mt. 18:10; Ex. 23:20].